Layers of Separation: What Stands Between Where You Are, and Where You're Going?
What are the layers of separation that stand between where you are now and where you wish you could be? The things we long for, the places we want to be, the person we know we can become...they often feel very far away as we struggle to see the path that will take us there.⠀
I like to visualize these layers of separation as dozens of glass sheets, lined up before me, floating in space. They vary in thickness and transparency, even in texture and size. As I look through the layers, all that I long for stands beyond, shrouded and nearly impossible to see. Can you picture it? Do you know that feeling...when the things you want feel so far away from your present reality? It would be so easy to turn away. To forget.⠀
There is much that I long for. My brain is full of giant paintings to create and business strategies to implement. Sculptures to make and books to write. I want a giant studio in my backyard with white walls and beautiful sunlight. I want to teach classes and workshops. I want my work to grace the walls of galleries from Paris to New York. I want to create a commission piece for Taylor Swift;) I want to paint for hours on end without interruptions of any kind. I want a LOT. And this reality feels very far away. Ridiculously far away.
At present I have approximately 10 hours of dedicated time each week to focus on my art career. Sometimes less. But I pack them with value. I make a handful of large paintings a year, but I love the work I’m making (and have been fortunate enough to sell most of it). I haven’t made a single sculpture. I attempted writing a book over a year ago but got burnt out and had to take an indefinite break. My studio is a tiny room in the house where I get interrupted by my darling children. Frequently. But I’m making it work.
It takes AGES to get anything done. The futility is frustrating and I have considered quitting many times. The layers of separation that stand between the current-me, and the Taylor-Swift-commission-me would be numbered in the thousands! It would be so easy to turn away. To forget.
But if I just focus on a single layer, I can see that it is thin and fragile, and with enough effort I can shatter it completely. One by one, we can break through these layers. Made a tiny painting today? Boom! You shattered a layer. Wrote the first paragraph of your first book? Smash! There goes another one. Got out of bed today and actually put on pants? Craaash!!! Bravo! There will be times when all we can do is scratch at the surface of the closest, tiniest layer...and that is enough. Even the act of awareness, and intention toward change is a start.
And speaking of smashing layers, do not forget to turn around and look behind you! Acknowledge the thousands of layers you have smashed over the years that got you to this point! No matter who you are you have a trail of shattered glass in your wake, with the strength and experience to prove it!
10 years ago I spent less than 10 hours of studio time each month. In fact, I often went months at a time without picking up a brush. I usually painted in the living room and probably made 2 or 3 pieces a year, at best. I couldn’t even fathom the idea of strangers buying my work or reading my words. Writing a book was not even on my radar. It was not even on the same planet as my radar! I had zero goals, zero confidence, and zero direction. I have come a loooong way. I love that old me…the zero-confidence-but-loves-to-paint-so-let’s-just-try-not-to-quit-me. I thank her every day for carrying on.
I have changed.
You have changed.
Where were you ten years ago? What layers have you shattered along the way?
As you look ahead, what is the closest, thinnest layer standing between you, and all the things you want to be? What would it take to break through it?
I dare you to try. The future-you will thank you for it!
Sending a love, and a lot of shattered glass!
Denise
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