Finding Balance: The One Mindset Shift the Helps Me
Balance. Do you ever get horribly tired of that word....that elusive myth we are all supposedly striving for but is seemingly impossible to achieve? I know some people who have given up on the notion of balance altogether, claiming it’s simply not possible, and even toxic to keep reaching for the unattainable. I have felt that way sooo many times. But I have found that one subtle shift in my mindset around balance has made a huge difference in the way I strive for it. It’s this: BALANCE IS A VERB.
Maybe balance the NOUN — the state perfect equilibrium and stability — is impossible for me right now. But balance the VERB — the constant teetering, adjusting, and striving…the act of balancing — that is something I can do.
Rather than expecting to feel fully balanced in any given moment, or even on any given day...can we step back and see the bigger picture that with our continual adjustments we are finding a sense of balance over the course of our week, or month, or even year? ⠀
I love the analogy of walking a tightrope. (And for the sake of the analogy, pretend you are a halfway decent tight-rope walker! ha ha!) Imagine making your way across the rope and you just need to hang on. It doesn’t have to be beautiful, but one way or another you just have to stay on that rope. You will teeter, a lot. You will sway, a lot. But as you continually search for center your body naturally adjusts and pulls inward. There may be times on that rope that you are so far off balance you are literally hanging on by one finger…but it’s enough. And somehow, you pull yourself together and claw your way back up on that rope. You may even fall completely, but luckily there are nets to catch you, hands to help you, and you find yourself climbing that ladder for another try.
This entire time…you have been balancing. Not always well, not always gracefully, but you are participating in the verb — the act of balancing. And the more you do it, the better you become at walking that tightrope. Imagine the muscles you are building. Think of the experience you are gaining. Each wobble is training your body and mind imperceptibly! Maybe it’s not about how perfectly you keep your balance, but how doggedly you fight to keep getting back on the rope again and again.
In life, as we feel ourselves veering too far in one direction we take note, make a shift, and try to pull back to our center. We do it all the time, probably even subconsciously. How cool is that?! We are learning so much about ourselves, strengthening our muscles, and continually refining this process.
I still have a long way to go in finding a harmonious balance in my life. But I can tell you this…I’m a heck of a lot better than I was five years ago. I am fine tuning. I know that If I have to complete a project or meet a deadline, that will sometimes mean less sleep, more TV for the kids, and a house that looks like a dumpster pile. BUT, I have learned that I can only get away with this lifestyle for a VERY SHORT TIME. Then I pull inward, rest a lot, hang with the kids, watch TV in bed. When I look at my life in weeks and months, instead of hours and days, I can see the way balance is happening in my life.
I really do believe that If we persist in our efforts and awareness these giant dips and veers do become smaller tips and wobbles.⠀And maybe its through that act of shuffling the weight, intentionally and intuitively, that we find strength and growth. In fact, I know it is.
Sending Love…and balance,
Denise
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